Vademecum del ciclista urbano

 

La webzine Sabotage Times, sito dedito a lifestyle, sport, moda e molto altro, ha stilato un utilissimo vademecum per il ciclista cittadino: anche se l’articolo sarebbe originariamente pensato per il traffico londinese, leggendolo, da buoni ciclisti a nostra volta, ci siamo resi conto che è applicabile a pennello a quello milanese e certamente anche quello romano. Ad ogni modo, questa netiquette del ciclista urbano farà comodo in ogni città, per cui, se avete la passione del velocipede (specialmente la mattina per andare al lavoro, più che per il tempo libero in comode ciclabili), leggetela attentamente: vi farà risparmiare nervi e Lasonil. Vi proponiamo degli estratti qui sotto (in lingua originale per mantenere la carica umoristica), la versione integrale è disponibile qui.

 

Show some love

If you’re coming up to a crossing where pedestrians have got the green man, have a look at their faces. Their brows will probably display the start of a frown as they’re expecting you to be a bastard and jump the lights, nearly running them over and possibly causing them to drop the skinny latte they’ve been nurturing since evacuating the train or bus they came into town on. (…) If you really want to freak ‘em out wish them good morning. That’ll seriously fuck with their overly caffeinated heads.

Don’t cycle side by side if you’re a couple

One, it’s sick inducing. Two, it means it’s that much harder to pass you, which I have to do as you’re idling along like love’s young fucking dream, chatting about all the plans you have for your future. If you’re not careful your immediate future will involve being tangled up in a mess of bruises and aluminium in the gutter as I will have shoulder barged the one of you on the outside, creating a short lived but hilarious domino effect to get you out of the bloody way.

Stop shouting at cars and bus drivers

Getting apoplectic in public always make you look like the bad guy as most pedestrians and drivers think that cyclists are law breaking anarchists. Plus if your veins are popping with fury and you’re lycra’ed up, you’ll always end up looking like an actual penis.